In his book Influence, the Power of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini identifies 6 ways we are influenced and how to push back against them.
Give first and you create a social obligation. If you ask for a lot and then back down. It implies a concession
Push back – see the gift as a sales promotion, or as a compliance trick
Commitment and consistency
To build commitment, get small concessions; get them to write them down. Let people find a new Identity in the concession and then will follow a bigger request – be consistent with It.
For children, big bribes don’t work. Big Threats only mean they will stop when being watched. If they are told it is wrong to do something, they are less likely to do it
Pushback – notice the warning from the stomach and tell them it’s a game
We look to see what others are doing – and assume it is right. The key is when we are uncertain of what to do, we are most susceptible to influence.
We also look to role models that are similar to ourselves.
Pushback – check if that’s really the right thing to do, and beware automatic pilot
Similarity – we like people similar to ourselves. Contact and cooperation – familiarity and doing activities together. Conditioning and association – we place positive traits on associated item (e.g. celebrity endorsements)
Push back – notice it
Appearance matters more than content – title, clothes, accessories
Push back – is the authority truly and expert, and are they telling this in our best interests
Potential loss plays a large role in human decision making. People are more motivated by the thought of losing something than of gaining something of equal value. As opportunities become less available. we lose freedoms, and we had to lose the freedoms we already have.
We tend to want what is banned.
Romeo & Juliet Effect – if we are stopped in our relationships, then we like the person more
For more information try this book summary
And Robert Caldiani’s website.