In his book Influence, the Power of Persuasion,  Robert Cialdini identifies 6 ways we are influenced and how to push back against them.

Reciprocation

Give first and you create a social obligation. If you ask for a lot and then back down. It implies a concession

Push back – see the gift as a sales promotion, or as a compliance trick

Commitment and consistency

To build commitment, get small concessions; get them to write them down. Let people find a new Identity in the concession and then will follow a bigger request –  be consistent with It.

For children, big bribes don’t work. Big Threats only mean they will stop when being watched. If they are told it is wrong to do something, they are less likely to do it

Pushback – notice the warning from the stomach and tell them it’s a game

Social Proof

We look to see what others are doing – and assume it is right. The key is when we are uncertain of what to do, we are most susceptible to influence. 

We also look to role models that are similar to ourselves.

Pushback – check if that’s really the right thing to do, and beware automatic pilot

Liking

Similarity – we like people similar to ourselves. Contact and cooperation – familiarity and doing activities together. Conditioning and association – we place positive traits on associated item (e.g. celebrity endorsements)

Push back – notice it

Authority

Appearance matters more than content – title, clothes, accessories

Push back – is the authority truly and expert, and are they telling this in our best interests

Scarcity

Potential loss plays a large role in human decision making. People are more motivated by the thought of losing something than of gaining something of equal value. As opportunities become less available. we lose freedoms, and we had to lose the freedoms we already have.

We tend to want what is banned.

Romeo & Juliet Effect – if we are stopped in our relationships, then we like the person more

For more information try this book summary

And Robert Caldiani’s website.