The purpose of emotions (Leslie Greenberg, “Working with Emotions in Psychotherapy“)
If the emotions are based on childhood patterns – then they become based on how we are supposed to feel, not how we actually feel. And they don’t help us adapt. When an emotional event happens, emotions must be discharged in order for the intellect, reason and mind to make sense of it. Emotions are a form of thinking, and blocked emotions bias thinking. As emotions get bound by shame, their energy is frozen, which blocks the full interaction between the mind and the will. (Bradshaw, 2006) Firstly, recognise you have emotions. Feel them in your stomach, your face, muscles, and heart. The emotion is fine.
All emotions are fine. It’s the action or reaction that comes from them that matters. We must resist our own internal rules that say an emotion is not valid and resist anyone else who tells us how we feel; it denies us of having a feeling. In a single day, you may feel multitudes of emotions that the last for varying lengths of time.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to understand our emotions, manage them effectively, and to understand and manage the emotions of others.