When we think about discipline – we often think that punishment is the way to change behaviours. The harsher the punishment, the more the other will listen and learn.
Just think about it? Does that work for you. Which laws do you obey, and which do not? Read more
How do you break out of conflict? Have you ever been so angry and cross with a colleague or family member that their very presence makes you angry. In this book they explore how are very actions to correct or punish another person drives them to the very behaviours we don’t want to happen. Read more
I’ve recently read the book “So You’ve been Publically Shamed” by Jon Ronson. It is an eye opener about what we think people are like and what we are really like.
Confrontation may happen from an individual or from the community. A village, a church, or the whole country may react to knowing that there’s a problem. The community then looks to shame the person for their actions.
For example, the book talks about one woman who put up an ironic social media message as she flew from the states to South Africa about the inequality in healthcare between the two countries … only to find that people took it literally and were boycotting her visit by the time she landed.
Why do we shame others?
What does the public expect as a response?
How might we deal with it … and it’s not what you think it is?
When you have conflict in your relationship, how often do you use one or more of these 29 techniques. What does your partner use?
How might we stop doing these techniques and move to a more productive way of dealing with difference – in sharing feelings and needs, rather than fighting dirty.