The average human ‘looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odour or fragrance, and talks to without listening
Leonardo da Vinci
We all need friends, and friends are important to be in our ‘team’ for change. So let’s look at the current state of your circle of friends, and then techniques to build friends (and it’s similar skills for a business context too)
Stages in a Friendship
Source Life Skills International
Who would you put in this space?
Be alert to each new person around you.
Have a cheerful, friendly countenance; smile.
Learn and remember their name.
Greet them by their name.
Ask them appropriate questions which reflect interest and acceptance.
Be a good listener.
2. CASUAL FRIENDSHIP
Discover their strong points.
Learn about their hopes and desires for their life.
Develop and ask them appropriate speciﬁc questions.
Show interest and concern if they share problems with you.
Be honest about yourself.
Reflect interest and trustworthiness in being their friend.
3. CLOSE FRIENDSHIP
See potential achievement in their lives.
Discover and discuss the speciﬁc goals they have.
Assume an interest in the development of their goals.
Discern the conﬂicts which hinder the development of these goals.
Be creative in encouraging them in designing projects which would help them to develop and achieve these goals.
Leam how to encourage them in building their interest for the projects they have developed for themselves.
Learn how to give comfort to them through their trials and sorrows.
Assume personal interest in their reputation.
Be sensitive to traits and attitudes which need improvement in yourself and in them.
Discern basic causes of character deﬁciencies.
Build interest in and awareness of these deﬁciencies; ask them to tell you about your faults.
Be committed to faithfulness, loyalty and availability while setting boundaries and guidelines.
Techniques to build Friendships
How do I make a good First Impression
Building friendship through non-verbals
Building friendship through Words
Building Friendship through what you see