Giving & Receiving Support

Before we dive into details about the way we think, and change let’s look at three things:

  1. You Can Change! It may be hard to believe but things are not hopeless. It won’t happen overnight, but change is possible.
  2. Where am I now? Take stock of the current situation and what do you want to focus on with this book.
  3. A little help from my friends. Where can you find support during this journey? What is the ‘team’ around you to help you, and how can you build that team.

You can change

Let me say that again. You can change. Now say that in your head. Perhaps you are also saying ‘but’, or ‘if only’, or ‘not me’. Just start with the premise that you can change. You can move toward where you want to be and inevitably there will be barriers, problems, and resistance on the way.

Why do we know that you can change? Well, there are four reasons:

  1. Other people have. From shy to performer, from alcoholic to sober, from thief to family man.
  2. You already have. You changed from a toddler to a child, and from a child to an adult.
  3. Science shows the brain change. We are not ‘stuck in the mud’. The adult brain can change and adapt. It’s called neuro-plasticity. Brain cells can make new connections. We do have our genes and our genes give us tendencies, preferences and some situations will turn them on and some will turn them off. But you can influence that through your behaviours, exercise, diet, and willpower.
  4. Therapy and faith have shown it too. Throughout the ages philosophers and sages have put profound comments on how we can change and the difficulty of changing.

But it can be done. The tools, techniques and training on this website will give you the awareness and choice to try new strategies to help make that change. You are about to embark on an adventure, a new journey of your lifetime. Just like visiting an amazing global city and it affects your life, let this book help guide you on your way.

Much of this discovery and change is about shifting how you meet your core needs. These are often listed as:

Secure Attachment
Balanced Autonomy
Realistic Limits
Spontaneity and Play


Other Resources:

  1. Where Am I Now?
  2. A Little Help from My Friends.