How this Site can help you

This site is aimed to give you two key learnings:


  • Of yourself
  • Of others
  • Of patterns

  • New Options
  • New Skills
  • You can make new choices

You need to change
Awareness and Choice

This book will help you build more awareness of yourself, strategies to use, and you have the choice of what to take on and use to adapt, or your unique situation

You want to help a friend change
A joint journey

We all have views, and advice. This book helps you join the journey of your friend, helps you re-evaluate assumptions on what help is, and give pointers to support and challenge on the way

You are an impacted partner
More than one perspective

It hurts. It is painful, and you may wish for that pain to change. We can’t undo the past, but we can help others understand your feelings and change the future. This book helps build understanding and change

Who could this help?

Awareness fosters discovery which in turn fosters freedom. That freedom comes with the possibility of being responsible for how you show up in the world (from Wendy Behary, Disarming the Narcissist)

With that awareness you can help yourself through a crisis or help a friend. Thus, this book could help for several different situations:

  1. My friend is probably an alcoholic – how can I support them?
  2. I’m having a mid-life crisis – how to I rebuild my direction?
  3. I am looking at a new career direction, but need to look at myself too
  4. I am looking at a new relationship, but I also need to fix a few things in me first
  5. I’ve screwed up (drinks, debt, sex, eating etc) – I need to change but how?
  6. I’ve finished a relationship and I realise I need to do some soul searching and sorting out before I search for the next otherwise I will repeat the same mistakes?
  7. Why do these things keep happening to me?
  8. I look at porn online – where do I start in changing?
  9.  I’ve been told to ‘get a grip’ and make a change about one of my habits – where do I start with all the therapy and resources out there?
  10. Is it me or is it him/her?
  11. My friend is going through a crisis – I feel incompetent – what can I do to really help?
  12. I’d like to get on better with people – is it just a matter of improving my conversation, or is there more?
  13. My partner says I am an emotional desert – yeah, and?
  14. I’d like to be more successful at my career.
  15. My friend is struggling with an addiction – There must be more than this, than telling him he’ll lose everything if he continues.
  16. I’m feeling directionless – what can help me think this through?

This site is NOT a simple 5-point simple solution – because life isn’t simple. It contains over 75 tools and exercises and distils learnings from over 100 books. What it does give you is a range of areas to work on and dip into according to your personal circumstance. Some parts of the book will be more relevant to you than other.