How often do you ask yourself “What do I need to do, to get to where I want to?” or it might be “What do I need to have to be content?”
These are ambious questions – but what if they were the wrong questions?
Self help books often drive the purpose of what lifestyle do we want to have. We look at the house we want, the car we want, the salary we want, and the hobbies we want. The myth is that we just need to do some actions, get some stuff and then turn the wheel and happiness strikes.
You might see these in some of the big self-help conferences. Pay us money and we will give you the secret steps to find the happiness you seek.
What if the question was not to do but to be?
“What do I choose to be, in order to get contentment?” – you might find the other elements flow from this. I choose to be kind to strangers. I choose to be punctual. The difficult question is then “to Be or not to Be”. What do you want to be:
- Who is this person you want to be? (What are the characteristics of that person)
- What is it this person?
- What is it about this person that you like?
Before you, me or anyone gets on our moral high horse, a word of caution. Some of us have obvious challenges – lapses in judgement, bad habits, bad choices etc. So that gives some of the picture. But others of us can be blinded by our egos. We might feel entitled. We might feel our anger is always right. We might believe we are tolerant yet hate those who disagree with us. We might be believe we are always honest – and the statistics tell us we are not.
So ‘what do I choose to be’ becomes a challenge for ALL of us. It is a choice not a compulsion. No one has to forgive (our parents, for example), but it might give contentment. No one has to have a strong work ethic, but it might keep us in a job. No one has to be polite, but it might open the doors to contentment.
So what 5 characteristics do you choose to be, and what do you choose not be? that is the question.