One Book I have found has really changed my attitude to situations is Leadership and the Art of Self-Deception from The Arbinger Institute. It’s about breaking out of the vicious circle in conflict or when we feel something is ‘unfair’. We end up sitting ‘in the box’ of self-justification and seeing the other as an object. To break out of this we need to break ‘out of the box’.
Example of the self-justifying vicious circle:
To address this we need to ‘get out of the box’
Five questions to break out of the box:
- What are this person’s challenges, trials, burdens, and pains?
- How am I, or some group of which I am a part, adding to these challenges, trials, burdens, and pains?
- In what ways are my boxes obscuring the truth about others and myself and interfering with potential solutions?
- What am I feeling I should do for this person or group?
- What can I do to help?
Book summary for the companion book The Anatomy of Peace