What are your Core Needs?

There are several views about our core needs (e.g. Tony Robbins list of 6 core needs). Typically there seems to be between 5 and 7.

Core Need Key Question Examples Where do I get that now
Security Who can I trust? Spouse / Partner
Work
Identity Who am I? Accountant
Lover
Belonging Who wants me?

 

Church
Club
Employer
Purpose Why am I alive?

 

As a mother
Fund Raiser
Employer
Competence What do I do well?

 

DIY
Sport
Singing
Growth What am I learning?
Variety
Hobby craft
Dancing
Night school
Career Path

Play
What do I enjoy?

This is quite high level, and often anger comes from when our core needs are not met or threatened. John Grey sees different priorities of needs for Men and Women:

John Grey in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus puts it as:

Men (from Mars) need:

1. Trust
2. Acceptance
3. Appreciation
4. Admiration
5. Approval
6. Encouragement

Women (from Venus) need:

1. Caring
2. Understanding
3. Respect
4. Devotion
5. Validation
6. Reassurance

What are your top needs?

These are a list of primary or core needs from (Mike Fisher, Beating Anger). Which ones relate to you and any significant other. How do you/they react if they are threatened?

Your Top Needs

  • Valued
  • ┬áSafe
  • Cared for
  • Useful
  • Belonging
  • Loved
  • Treated Fairly
  • Accepted
  • Significant
  • Seen
  • Heard
  • Respected
  • Trusted
  • Treated Honestly
  • Appreciated
  • Acknowledged
  • Held
  • Touched
  • Encouraged

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Meeting your Core Needs