This is not a trivial task – but resetting life rules starts by choosing new ones. (Bradshaw, 1991). Though it may not seem like it at first, good parenting comes from good discipline. Good discipline is nurturing discipline, not painful, demeaning, or hurtful discipline. Without discipline, an inner child has no rules to live life by. Remember that discipline isn’t just a list of things not to do, it is a set of rules to live your life by. Bradshaw lists these rules to teach your inner child:
- It’s okay to feel what you feel.
- It’s okay to want what you want.
- It’s okay to see and hear what you see and hear.
- It’s okay and it’s necessary to have lots of fun and play.
- It’s essential to tell the truth at all times.
- It’s important to know your limits and to delay gratification some of the time.
- It’s crucial to develop a balanced sense of responsibility.
- It’s okay to make mistakes.
- Other people’s feelings, needs, and wants are to be respected and valued.
- It’s okay to have problems.
Hopefully, with these rules, you can learn to let your inner child, and your adult self, be whoever they are. Though you may have upheld a role growing up, whether you were the perfect child, the problem child, or any child in between, you don’t need to act out that role anymore; you can simply be your wonderful self.
Changing your beliefs
Some of these beliefs and life rules no longer serve you well. They may have been downright wrong, or you wish to change them. Furthermore, some are self-destructive or self-limiting.
|Think of a limiting belief that you currently hold, and one you would like to change
|Think of a belief that you used to hold but which, for you, is no longer true
|Think of something you believe to be certain
|Think of a belief that you’d rather have?
|Now look at the belief that you no longer hold true, and reduce the intensity of the belief. (Technique use Submodalities)
|Now intensify the belief you’d rather have?
(Technique use Submodalities)