This is being aware of the surrounding and of the present. It helps break out of continuously focussing on the past or future, and breaks getting so involved in a situation that you cannot see the ‘wood for the trees’. Prayer provides a similar purpose


  1. Relax and go – sit upright and close your eyes. Breathe and relax on exhale. Clench and release your muscles. Use a prayer or chant to clear your mind
  2. Reach out and listen You don’t need to tell God anything. Telling is for your benefit. Grab the words, guidance, and pictures. Accept what arrives
  3. Visualise and affirm – now visualize what you see and feel and hear the results

Up Count your blessings
Focus attention on how you have been learnt in this world
In Confession
Consider your sins and failures – what you did or didn’t do and would change
Out Request
Consider your needs and what needs to be done to meet them
Around Intercession
Consider what other people need and the compassion, love and help you can give them

Being aware of the present

  • Observe the relationship
    • Listen to the words
    • Look for the actions
    • Notice YOUR emotions (am I feeling anxious)
    • Notice the thoughts
    • Resist motivations and assumptions
    • Test and request for feedback
  • Take a non-judgemental stance
    • Be intentionally compassionate
    • Where are they coming from?
    • What would make them take that decision?
  • Stay Present
    • Don’t make excuses to get out, disassociate or tune out
    • Don’t leave the discussion abruptly, or without warning
    • Warn of a time out – i.e. give notice if you want to stop the conversation
  • Stay Willing
    •  Look for ‘Both-And’ or ‘Win-Win’ thinking

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Be mindful of your emotions – let them be warning signs. Be aware, be intentional, and participate in your own life experiences.

Being Mindful

Adapted from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy[i]

Observe Describe Participate
  • Emotion
  • Situation
  • Don’t React!
  • Control attention, not thought
  • Notice the thoughts and feelings
  • Pay attention to the 5 senses
  • Put into words
  • “I am noticing that I am feeling …”
Let go of worry thoughts


Non-Judgementally One-Mindfully Effectively
o  No Shoulds, must, good or rights o  One focus, activity at a time o  Focus on the current situation – not could be or might

o  Consider how you want to change

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a therapy designed to help people suffering from mood disorders as well as those who need to change patterns of behavior that are not helpful, such as self-harm, suicidal ideation, and substance abuse. DBT is a modified form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), that was developed in late 1980s by Marsha M. Linehan, a psychology researcher at the University of Washington, to treat people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and chronically suicidal individuals. This approach works towards helping people increase their emotional and cognitive regulation by learning about the triggers that lead to reactive states and helping to assess which coping skills to apply in the sequence of events, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to help avoid undesired reactions. DBT assumes that people are doing their best but lack the skills needed to succeed, or are influenced by positive reinforcement or negative reinforcement that interferes with their ability to function appropriately.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy