Healthy Self-Soothing

Our coping mechanisms can create unhelpful ways we have soothed our hurts and pains. Instead we need to choose healthy coping mechanisms and ways to sooth hurt and pain. Listed below are a wider selection ideas. Which ones would you like to do?

Self-care is never a selfish act.
It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have,
the gift I was put on earth to offer

Peter Scazzero

Self Soothing Activities

  • Vision
    • Look at nature
    • Go to Zoo
    • Look at buildings
  • Touch
    • Massage I Hug
    • Swim I Shower
    • Walk Barefoot
    • Soothing music, cuddle cat
    • Run, punch a pillow, tear up a phone book
  • Hearing
    • Classical Music I Chants
    • Play loud music, draw
    • Sing to Self
    • Books on Tape
  • Smell
    • Balcony
    • Scents I Flowers
    • Fire
  • Contact
    • Reach out to someone
    • Telephone call, text, call therapist
    • Do something fun
  • Taste
    • Eat Slowly
    • Hot Toast
    • Peppermint
  • Mind-set
    • Blessings, it’s okay to feel angry
    • Positive messages
    • Get out the emotion
    • Sooth and Calm
    • Control thoughts
  • Enablers
    • Allow time for recovery to work
    • Take responsibility
    • Keep a Journal
    • Create a contract with yourself
  • Understanding Fun
    • Discovering new places
    • How parents model fun
    • Relaxing at home – warm drink, music, massage, book
  • Choosing fun things to do
    • Bike rides
    • Museums
    • Playing toys with kids
    • Cuddles
  • Being Mindful
    • Gratitude & Counting blessings
    • Being in the present (not harking to the past, comparing, or planning)
  • Fun friends
    • Find time with the creative, proactive, easy to talk to ones
    • Find time with supportive ones
    • Find time with laughter and sparking off each other
  • Building opposites to anger
    • Change body language – look up and breath
    • Pause – stare at nature, enjoy food
    • Pray for enemies – see from their position
    • Think gentle and serene
    • Pay a complement to person you are angry with
    • Tell someone “I love you”
    • Say “I can Handle this situation”
  • Building opposites to fear
    • Look and feel confident
    • Look serene
    • Sit upright
    • Remember when you handle his situation well (not the bad times)
  • Opposite to Sadness
    • Smile
    • Exercise
    • Make eye contact
    • Sing positive songs
    • Eat well

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You may also need to break through obstacles to healthy self-soothing:

  • Avoid harm – Alcohol, Drugs, Porn
  • Unhealthy messages:
    • I don’t deserve it
    • I don’t deserve compassion
    • I don’t have time
    • I can’t do it
  • Watching out for barriers to fun
    • Extreme delayed gratification
    • Lack of time with friends and giving space for fun
    • Not allowing yourself fun & pushing away positive emotions
    • Worry