All behaviour can be changed by changing beliefs, values, rules, and identity (Tony Robbins).Thus identity is very important to building a new you. One shift in identity can cause a shift in your entire master system (For example, in the bible Paul talks about having an identity in Christ, and this gives people a new identity from the old one)
- Your identity is limited by your interpretation of your own experience. It is the decisions you’ve made about who you are and what you’ve decided to fuse yourself with.
- You and I need to remember that our self-esteem is tied to your ability to feel we are in control of the events in our environment
For example: “A person who believes they have developed a drug addiction can clearly change. But a person who believes himself to be a drug addict will usually return to the use of drugs. Being a recovering drug /addict, or drug-free doesn’t change the identity, but when they use a clean / new identity – then that’s when their behaviour changes” (Tony Robbins, book extract)
Who am I?
If you have had a huge trauma in your life, or are in crisis now, try these questions to think about who you are. (Irwin Yalom, wikipedia)
| Who am I now, after this crisis? | |
| How do I define myself? | |
| What personal expectations did I have before that I no longer thing I can achieve? | |
| Have I been treating myself like a ‘broken person’? | |
| What is it that I am afraid others will see? | |
| How do I compare myself with others? | |
| What is it that I am afraid to admit to myself? |
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Disidentification Exercise